


Letters

by x_jeanne_x



Series: Final Fantasy VII Prompts & Oneshots [14]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Closure, Dealing With Memories, Eighty-eight letters to review, Established Relationship, M/M, Office Days, Post Advent Children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 10:35:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20655818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_jeanne_x/pseuds/x_jeanne_x
Summary: On a calm work day, Tseng remembers he still has Aerith's letters for Zack locked away, and decides it is finally time to stop being haunted by memories and past decisions.





	Letters

With a sigh, Tseng put away the last report he had to file on that day. What an unrewarding task… With the president slowly changing the focus of the company from all kinds of more or less only profitable and also questionable research, innovations, military inventions and whatever else he could remember from the days before Meteor to a more supportive area to not only rebuild Midgar together with Reeve Tuesti’s World Rescue Organization, but also to establish a controlled health system and supply chains of various needed goods, his tasks felt increasingly boring over time. Tseng felt like all he’d been doing for the last few years was paperwork. Whether it was reviewing old stuff they’d managed to retrieve from the ruins of the ShinRa building in Midgar during a particular nasty mission, or reports of the things they were doing now, to him it was all the same. But he guessed the president and his colleagues expected that from him, with him being the leader of the General Affairs department. Tseng also suspected his remaining three Turks also, like him, felt a little on edge occasionally, as the tasks and missions he gave them were mundane compared to the dirty work they had been used to during ShinRa’s glorious days before Meteor. But nobody was complaining. Not Rude, not Elena, not even Reno. Tseng knew most times they were quite enjoying the calmer life they led now, with the president healed from his Geostigma, and gone with the illness was also his excessive craving for power. Although... not only them, sometimes also he himself missed the excitement and rush of adrenaline the dangerous situations they had often found themselves in brought.  
  
Tseng reached for the mug on his desk, which contained his already cold, black coffee he’d made hours ago, took a sip and gazed out of the office window. To some extent he understood Reno’s constant complaints about how it was too calm, too boring here, and how unsettling it felt for him, that he wanted more action - it was only nine and the streets were already dark and empty in the little village where they’d decided to have their new headquarters for now.  
Tseng stayed like this for a while, and then decided he’d worked enough for the day. He took the folder with the reports in one hand and opened the topmost desk drawer with the other one to put it in, as he always did with documents the president still needed to sign. Usually this was such an automatic movement that he didn’t even have to look where he put the file, but today his fingers bumped into the box he’d kept in the same drawer since they had moved to this office, and it caused him to glance down. Hesitating, Tseng let his head fall back and closed his eyes for a few seconds, exhaled and then again looked at the drawer, pulled the box from under the file he’d just put in there and placed it on his desk in front of him.  
For quite some time Tseng eyed it, unsure if this was a sign to finally get rid of its contents and move on. Deep in thoughts he took another sip of his stale coffee and continued to stare at the box, almost as if it could bite him at any moment.  
  
While Tseng was contemplating what to do, Reno stalked into the room and caused him to look up when he waved with a small stack of papers and started talking without being invited to. "Yo boss, I've got those reports ready." Speak about Reno for having that particular talent to always catch him in moments where he preferred to be alone.  
Tseng gave him a questioning look. "Can’t you knock on the door for a change, Reno? What in Gaia's name are you still doing in the office anyway? You’re always the one who could never sit still and leaves at the earliest opportunity when it comes to office work. What happened to the Reno I know?"  
Reno frowned for being lectured… again. "Shouldn't ya be glad I'm doing extra hours to finish the reports about that investigation you sent me to last week, boss? The one about the suspicion the president and other people more intelligent than I have about the lifestream coming closer to the surface lately in one of the new housing areas in Edge's east? Where they want to start some new building project and wanted to know the risks of, what was it? Mako poisoning? Mutated Sahagins and other sick monsters threatening the possible new inhabitants?"  
Tseng raised a hand to stop Reno’s rambling. “I remember the mission I gave you, no need to go into detail - I have to read the report anyway. I’m still surprised it didn’t take you weeks to finish it.”  
Reno grinned sheepishly and didn’t even try to conceal his motivation to get things done in time. “Well, ya know… Ya kept nagging on how you ‘needed this report filed a.s.a.p.’, by which ya always mean ya’d rather have it yesterday. And then ya threatened me with no sex for a month if I wouldn’t finish it on time.”  
After staring at him during these words, Tseng hid his face in his hand. “Ah, yes… I did say that, didn’t I?” he murmured. He would need to remember _ this _ was how he could force Reno to get the things done he didn’t like.  
“See? ‘Course I-” Then Reno’s eyes wandered to the transparent box on Tseng’s desk. “...Are those the letters from the flower girl…?” he asked, which caused Tseng to groan. “...Sometimes I really wish you wouldn’t be so damn attentive…” he murmured, but nodded. He traced the edges of the box with one finger. “Maybe it’s time…”  
  
Tseng watched how Reno put his report down and then went around to stand next to him, leaning his hip against the edge of the desk, all while the redhead tried to assess his reactions and if he’d gone too far. “Time for what? Ya finally want to have a closer look at them?”  
Usually Tseng would reprimand everyone for such a bold move in his office, even Reno. Usually he would scold him for crossing a line, invading his personal space, and even worse, having the audacity to bring Tseng into a position where he as his boss had to look up to him, but found himself not in the mood to play the asshole-boss-who-will-show-you-your-place card tonight. Because right now this wasn’t Reno, Tseng’s subordinate who sometimes was lacking a little tact, but Reno who took this freedom as his partner, to show he cared in his own, sometimes odd way.  
“Yo, ya’re still here, Tseng? Are ya going to open and read them or what’re ya planning to do?” Instead of throwing Reno out as he would have done until some time ago, he did look up to him and shrugged when Reno asked again. “Yes…” A pause and a sigh, then Tseng changed his answer to “...Maybe… Honestly, I have no idea what I should do with them. But I feel like I _ have to do _ something. There’s no point in keeping them locked away like this any longer, right? But…”  
“But ya’re scared shitless, eh?” Reno suggested, judging by how his boss had been eying the letters when he came into the room, and Tseng frowned. Yes, sometimes he really wished Reno wouldn’t notice every change of his emotional state. Better not to comment on this, Tseng told himself. “Ya look like ya’re trying very hard to hide the fact ya’re about to have a panic attack or something like that. What are ya afraid to find in those letters?” Reno continued, serious concern showing on his face before he straightened up again and left his current position to move the few steps behind Tseng’s chair, and the Turk leader could feel him put his hands on his shoulders and massage them lightly. "Shit, ya're tense, boss," was what he heard Reno comment when he leaned his head against the body now standing behind him, and closed his eyes. "I'm not close to having a breakdown, Reno. I…" Tseng hesitated for a moment. Reno knew so much already, he wasn't sure he wanted to open up even more - self protection that comes with being a Turk - but then decided it couldn't do any harm, Reno had seen him in a much worse state already. "...I'm just not sure if I could handle it if the contents of these letters leave me with even more regrets and the wish to have done things differently."  
  
He didn't see how Reno looked at the letters. "Would ya really change anything if ya had the chance?" he asked, and with the hint of a challenge in his voice kept talking. "I know ya, Tseng. And I know how ya're doin’ things. Read them and then tell me if ya would've done something differently. I think even if ya knew the contents, it wouldn't change the fact yer job always comes first for ya. Yo, ordering us to find Fair before the infantry did was probably the only time I've seen ya going against ShinRa, even if ya and I both know how questionable some missions are, at best."  
"Don’t you understand? Zack was my friend, Reno…" Tseng answered tiredly, his eyes still closed, a pained expression on his face. “Zack was my friend and I could have saved his life, but didn’t. I didn’t because I was a coward. I failed him, and what’s even worse, he trusted me to look after his girl and I betrayed this trust in every possible way. I failed him because I did nothing more than my job, and while I accepted Aerith’s letters, I didn’t deliver them to him - and trust me Reno, I could have, I knew of his movements after he’d escaped. I failed him because I didn’t do shit to protect her more than it was my duty as a Turk. Because I desired her myself and would have not only compromised my work, but also broken a promise I gave. And as much as I tried to hide it, Aerith knew. She knew and tried to get me to forget myself on more than one occasion, because she was bored. She was bored and thought Zack had abandoned her, as I never told her about him being captured for four years and not having received her letters, which were stowed away in my office. She wanted distraction. I couldn’t have looked him in the eye if I’d given in and he’d survived - I still don’t know how I would’ve explained the letters to both of them. And then, barely three months after he’d died, I slept with her, only to throw her away on the next morning - directly into ShinRa’s… Hojo’s arms. Because this was my job and the leader of the Turks does his job, no matter if it’s the right decision or not… I also never told her about her boyfriend’s death. Maybe she knew, or at least suspected it, but she never asked, and I also didn’t say anything. And then she escaped and got into Sephiroth’s way herself...” Tseng stopped, realising that he’d been rambling about this once again although he hadn’t planned to, opened his eyes and looked up to Reno, who hadn’t moved. “But you know all of this already. Maybe I wouldn’t have done anything differently, but I am afraid in the contents of these letters, she’s blaming me for the same things I do, and that would make me hate myself even more for not being able to change the way I am…”  
“But isn’t not knowing even worse, boss?” Reno asked Tseng. “Won’t having them locked away here in your office remind ya all the time of what’s still haunting ya? Wouldn’t it be better to know and finally get some closure? As far as I remember the flower girl, she never seemed the type to hold a grudge, and obviously she liked and trusted ya. What harm could it do? Better get it over with after all these years, don’tcha think?” Tseng could feel Reno squeezing his shoulders harder to reassure him, which caused him to clear his throat. “I don’t feel ready for it…” he began, but got interrupted by Reno.  
  
“Ya’ll be as ready in another three years as ya’re now, so don’t give me that bullshit. Where’s the cold, calculating bastard I know? Having so many doubts isn’t like you, Tseng... Ya know what? I’ll stay here and make myself invisible, and you go over the letters. And then… Depending on what’s in there… We’ll see what we do...” With these words Reno went to the office door to lock it to give Tseng some more privacy, and then slumped down into the second chair in the room, on the opposite side of Tseng’s desk, all while Tseng watched him with an incredulous look on his face. “What? If I leave ya alone with them, I know ya’re just going to lock them away again.”  
“Aren’t you quite bold today, Reno?” he asked, but then, with a sigh, opened the box containing the letters, took them out and placed them on the desk so he could start with the oldest one. “I hope you’re aware this might take hours…” he murmured and then began opening the first one, something he should’ve done years ago…  
  
And it did take Tseng hours, and five cups of strong coffee for which he sent Reno, to go through the letters, occasionally rubbing his face or running his fingers through his hair, various expressions forming on his face while reading them. And after he finished the eighty-eighth letter, he just felt… empty. Because Reno had been right, she never held a grudge against him for anything, and those letters were just… nice small talk, directly out of her life, with no other purpose than to keep Zack informed. When Tseng stayed silent after he put away the last letter, Reno raised one eyebrow. “So?” he asked his boss.  
“...You were right…” Tseng admitted quietly. “There’s nothing in them… Nothing more than how she’s doing, that she misses him and hopes his silence didn’t mean he found another girl, some rambling directly out of her life, which hadn’t been that spectacular at that time... “ He bit his lip. “...She even told him more than once he didn’t have to worry, that she’s feeling safe because ‘the black-haired Turk is keeping an eye on her and protecting her’... What faith that girl had in me, I don’t get it…” he murmured and placed the letters in the box again, feeling the burden he carried for the last years lifting a little from his shoulders.  
A small, smug grin appeared on Reno’s lips. “Didn’t I tell ya there’s nothing to worry about, yo?” The mood a little lighter now that all of Tseng’s horror visions hadn’t come true, he allowed himself an amused snort. “You’re enjoying it too much when you’re right once in a while, Reno.” Then he put the letters back into drawer, deciding to not throw them away, but this time have them as a keepsake in remembrance of two of the most important persons in his life. “Come on, let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this started out as a small idea I had in my head for a long time, and then the new remake trailer hit me, with showing not only Reno, but also Rude and Tseng, which I didn't expect at all. I'm in love, and I can't wait for March for the game to finally be released!


End file.
